Tinsel, Grease and Gravy: Ranking 2026’s Christmas Takeaway Specials

It is 11 November 2026. Remembrance poppies are still pinned to coats, the big light switch-on is weeks away, and yet half the takeaways in Britain have already gone full Santa. Festive menus used to creep in around the first week of December. This year they have sprinted. We are not complaining — we are ranking.

Because here’s the thing: a Christmas special is not automatically a good idea. For every pigs-in-blankets pizza that earns its place, there are three mince-pie-flavoured oddities that taste like a candle shop. So we ordered widely, ate stubbornly, and judged each festive item on three things: does it actually taste like Christmas, would you order it again in January, and is it worth the extra couple of quid? Here is the 2026 festive takeaway class, ranked.

The ones worth the hype

Pigs-in-blankets stuffed-crust pizza

This is the headliner for a reason. The best versions — and we tried a few — keep it simple: a proper tomato base, mozzarella, a ring of sausage-meat stuffing around the crust, and a pot of gravy for dipping. The bad versions drown it in cranberry sauce like it’s a school disco. The good ones taste like a Sunday roast that got lucky. It is rich, salty and completely unnecessary, which is exactly what a Christmas takeaway should be. If your local does it with a decent gravy, order it once. If they do it with a pot of watery granules, walk away.

Turkey tikka masala

I did not expect to like this. Turkey is a meat that gives up easily, and tikka masala is a sauce that forgives nothing. But the 2026 versions have been surprisingly decent. The trick seems to be thigh meat, not breast, and a sauce that leans more on smoked paprika than sugar. It tastes like a Boxing Day curry that has been to a spa. It will not replace your usual chicken tikka, but as a one-off festive order it earns its spot. Bonus points if they throw in a stuffing naan, which sounds wrong and tastes brilliant.

Stuffing-spiced loaded fries

This is the best-value festive special of the year. Herb-heavy, sage-forward, with a dusting of something that tastes suspiciously like Paxo but in a good way. The top versions come with gravy, crispy onions and a bit of melted cheese. The bad versions are just chips with dried herbs and a sad bit of turkey on top. When it works, it is the perfect side to a festive pizza or burger. When it doesn’t, it is a Sunday roast’s leftovers in a cardboard box. Order it from a place that already does good chips.

The fine-but-not-festive middle ground

Brie and cranberry burger

It is a burger. It has brie on it. It has cranberry sauce. That is the whole idea. It tastes fine, but it does not taste like Christmas — it tastes like a pub lunch in a brioche bun. If you are already ordering a burger, it is a pleasant upgrade. If you are ordering it because it says festive, you will feel mildly cheated. The same goes for the pigs-in-blankets wrap. Nice enough, not a special.

Festive katsu curry

A few places have tried a turkey katsu with cranberry drizzle. The concept is fun, the execution is patchy. The best versions keep the cranberry on the side; the worst versions make the whole thing taste like a sweetened jam sandwich. It is worth trying once if you are a katsu loyalist, but it is not a December regular.

The gimmicks that deserve the bin

Mince-pie milkshake

No. I understand the impulse. I respect the bravery. But a mince-pie milkshake is a drink that tastes like a warm candle and a hangover at the same time. It is not refreshing, it is not comforting, and it does not belong next to a kebab. This is the sort of festive special that exists for a photo, not a mouthful.

Sprout and Stilton loaded fries

I wanted this to work. I really did. But the sprouts go soggy, the Stilton overwhelms everything, and the whole thing tastes like a fridge that needs a clean. If you love sprouts, roast them at home. Do not pay a takeaway to ruin them.

Anything with edible glitter

Glitter is not a flavour. If your festive special needs glitter to feel Christmassy, it has already lost. The same goes for gold leaf on a chicken burger. Save your money and put it towards a proper gravy dip.

The December rotation verdict

The festive menu creep is not going anywhere, and honestly, most of it is harmless fun. The key is not to order every special in one go. Pick one headline item — the pigs-in-blankets pizza or the turkey tikka — and pair it with a side you already trust. Skip the novelty drinks. Skip the glitter. And if a place is charging an extra three quid just for the word 'festive', order your usual and buy a bag of pigs in blankets from the shop on the way home.

Best of the bunch in 2026? The stuffing-spiced fries, closely followed by a properly done pigs-in-blankets pizza. Worst? The mince-pie milkshake, which we are still thinking about for all the wrong reasons. Consider this your public service announcement before the lights are even up.